Happy Birthday Mr. President

Happy Birthday Mr. President. I was recently reminded I had not yet signed your

birthday card. To be fair, I am one of the 99% that has not. However, this is my birthday

OFA Birthday Meme

wish for you.

In keeping with your penchant for travel (at someone else's expense), I would like to send you and several of your closest friends (Eric Holder, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi) to an all expense "Life" vacation at Historic United States Disciplinary Barracks. This lovely "Inn" is located just a short walk from US Army Garrison Ft. Leavenworth, in picturesque Kansas. Operating continuously since MAY 1875, it is the oldest facility of its kind in the United States.

Here, you and your friends will not have to plan a thing or do anything--the nice people plan everything for you. Your stay also includes appropriate apparel and a dining package. Again, this is at no cost to you. We the American tax payers are gladly picking up the tab.

Historic "Inn" along the banks of Missouri River.

The "Inn" has an exhaustive library of which I will personally make sure has copies of great works like THE US CONSTITUTION, THE FEDERALIST PAPERS, and biographies of great Americans like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin. I know some of these might not sound fun, but you could learn a lot from these books.

The "Inn's", Motto" "Our Mission, Your Future" symbolizes a "Can Do" attitude not all that far from your "Hope and Change". After all, you and your friends made it your mission to change OUR future.

You and your friends should feel safe and secure because it is a "Gun Free" Zone. Only members of staff and LEOs carry firearms. It is also a gated community with controlled access. In fact, it is much easier to enter the US illegally from the Southern Border than to penetrate the security at this location. Again, you should feel safe here.

JPATs Airline.

Before I forget, this trip also includes one way air accommodations aboard JPATS[i] Airlines. This is an exclusive airline few know about and they have an elite passenger list. People and even citizens of other countries are always trying to "con" their away aboard. I am sure you will recognize some of the passengers and with your singing voice and dance moves, I am sure you will make friends fast.

I am told in order to help you check-out of life's stresses, television viewing is at a minimum (so are computers and telephones—so you will have to leave your Blackberry at the check-in desk). The good thing about this, you will honestly be able to say you learned of terrible events from the news. Regardless, like now, no matter how bad the news, you will not have to worry about or do anything about it. Just relax.

Resort Attire.

Oh here comes your tailor. I think you will look good in that; your dark complexion and salt 'n' pepper hair will go great with that color. Besides, ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK.

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[i] Justice Prisoner and Alien Transport Systems